Five things I’ve learned from someone who entered my life for a BRIEF season
1. Never be willing to invest more time and energy into another person than you will on yourself.
I had been telling myself that I was too busy with my kids and too busy with work to also spend
time on my side hustle and creating content. That was a lie. I found hours, quickly, to invest in someone
that I thought I cared about. When I came out of this situation I realized that not only did I have the
time, but I had renewed desire to share my learnings with my community. I missed what I had created
and subsequently abandoned with no real excuse why. Now I realize I cannot allow another person to
come into my life and then pour more into them and their pursuits than my own. I need to always make
time for me.
2. Insecurity is a dealbreaker for me.
This person was worried I would take advantage of them. Newsflash – no one can take
advantage of you without your permission. And to me, this fear stems from a perceived* imbalance in
the relationship. (*heavy on perceived) If one person has “more to offer” than the other, the other
individual may feel a need to overcompensate as a result. But that’s addressing the symptom and not
the cause. If you don’t feel like you’re worthy or have value…then nothing you do will ever be enough to
overcome those feelings. And for me, it’s not my job to help someone find value in themselves. I did not
apply for that job, nor do I want the position.
3. I’m very perceptive of body language.
Have you ever had a gut feeling about someone that you couldn’t place until later when it
became obvious? That’s me with how someone carries themself physically. Little nuances and physical tics can tell you a lot about a person. This individual did several things in my presence that may have
seemed small or insignificant to someone else, but to me they pointed to a big character flaw. I couldn’t
say it definitively until it was later proven – but when it was, my gut was 100% accurate.
4. I have grown a LOT and I’m proud of who I’m becoming.
I realized later that old me would have approached this situation completely differently. Even
though I had done nothing wrong, I would have done everything in my power to make sure the other
person perceived me in a positive light. It’s the people-pleaser in me, what can I say? But when it was
apparent that this person could not remain in my life, a switch went off in my head and that point I
couldn’t give a hoot what they thought about me. It took me 20+ years to get here, but I’m so glad I’ve
arrived.
5. Closure is overrated.
Need I say more?
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